Stuff the boss wouldn’t let us put on the other LogicMaze blog

The entire LogicMaze staff would like to thank all of our friends, family and clients for the amount of understanding we have received over the last few days.

We lost all power to our offices on Tuesday night. Three of our staff members also lost all power to their homes. We moved our equipment to a residence Wednesday morning and almost immediately lost power to that residence. We were able to stay connected by laptop and Alltel broadband card just enough to troubleshoot and keep everyone’s websites running. We are completely back up and functional as of this morning (Friday, Dec 14th) but we will probably not be back on schedule with project work until Monday or Tuesday of next week.

Thanks again, and our thoughts are with everyone out there who had a rough go with this weather.

Ok most of the stuff we put on this blog is crazy made up crap!?!?!

But we really do have a job opening (no kidding!!) Click here for more details!!

I ran into Dolph Lundgren the other day (really. . .).
“Hey, Dolph,” I said. “How the heck is it going?”
“Good,” Dolph replied. “I’ve been really busy working on my new movie.”
In an attempt to hide my utter lack of interest, I decided to go ahead and ask about the movie.
He explained to me that the new movie will be a Rocky spin-off. He will be reviving the Ivan Drago character. There didn’t seem to be much of a premise, though. They had hired Tony Dungy of the Indianapolis Colts to co star. The movie would be called Dungys and Dragos.

Waaaah waaaah waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Admit it, that’s good stuff. . .

Please read this!

“The truth was hard to admit, especially to himself. The truth was he really wanted to drive his Jeep… without pants.”

Okay, so I’ve been looking through the types of Jeep accessories that are available at Jeepsandstuff.com. There’s quite an impressive selection of items there, I’ll admit. But there seem to be a few holes that could be filled if they really wanted to consider themselves the consumate Jeep accessories provider. That’s where I come in. Find the holes, make the suggestions, and basically deliver a warm slice of chocolate flavored marketing genius with a cherry on top. It says so on my businesss card… so who are you to question.

Now I am somewhat of a free-thinker, a color-on-the-outside-of-the-box-while-bungie-jumping kind of guy. It’s precisely that kind of thinking that usually gets me labeled as a “smartass” around the office here – and for the most part that label is painfully accurate. But in this case I think you’ll agree that my particular brand of brainwork has some true marketing potential.

First, allow me to address the “pants issue”, to be now referred to as the P.I.   They stock a perfectly good clinometer on the website, telling you when your jumbo/large fountain drink is about to spill – or when your gaggle of jeep-smitten friends is about to tumble out of the vehicle and into the Spangle’s parking lot. A useful device to be sure. But how many of us (and by “us” I am ficticiously including myself in the group of Jeep owners and accessory buyers) have been suffering needlessly because we had no way of determining when it was perfectly safe to drive without pants? This is the very seat of the P.I.

Thousands, nay millions of Jeep owners can only dream of the pleasure derived from driving unencumbered by pants. They suffer needlessly if only someone would have the courage to sell (which presumes that someone would first invent…) a pantsometer. I’m not suggesting driving without any apparel “south of the border” – just without pants.

If we can fake a moon landing, then surely we have the technology, the ingenuity, the will, and the audacity to invent such a liberating device.  Think of it. Clear day, warm weather, low humidity, lack of law enforcement – and all of a sudden your patented Pants-O-Meter is flashing green like it’s about to explode with pants-free glee.  (Ladies and gentlemen, may I kindly point out that this is the first time you have ever read the expression “pants-free glee”. No applause, please.)

Moving on, with pants I might add, I also saw a wide selection of winches available made by Warn, some of which had a rated line pull of 9000lbs. That’s impressive, but isn’t it shameful that there isn’t a single grappling hook attachment that you can buy. Think about it, folks. 9000lbs! That’s enough to haul your tricked-out Jeep, you, three of your friends, a keg of… um, sparkling grape juice (?), and a basket full of baklava up a 10-story building. Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it. (no, really… don’t tell me)
Okay, I also see all kinds of body armor for your Jeep – jeep hardtops, jeep bumpers, jeep skid plates, armored corners, stone guards, body cladding, etc. Has no one thought of reactive armor for your Jeep? That’s a rhetorical question, since I have. Not convinced? Just imagine never having a door ding again. When you come back to your vehicle and there’s an empty parking space next to you with a charred hubcap and some teeth fillings in it, you’ll know you’ve made a wise investment in protecting your Jeep.

I’m not the only person who wants toys like this. Geez, you’d think these folks had never seen an Evel Knievel performance or watched G.I. Joe.

I’ll be thinking of more ideas for products they SHOULD be making as Jeep accessories, but in the meantime check out the things they DO make at Jeepsandstuff.com. We at LogicMaze are on the case, making your online Jeep accessory buying experience all it can be.

Habla espanol?

Me neither. Lanuage barriers didn’t stop this blogger from showing interest in Traveltron5000.com. Thanks to his blog, Traveltron5000 got 39 visits! That’s more than Traveltron gets in a week usually. Here’s a rough translation of his blog that I got from Free Translation.com:

First National Travel Agency, one of the agencies online more veterans of the United States, has created a parody of the traditional agencies of trips that only offer on the internet a service automated and depersonalized: Traveltron 5000. With it they intend that the client themselves of account of the advantages that has to travel with them, that say to offer all the contrary thing, deal personalized and human. Considerations aside, the certain thing is that Traveltron turns out to be nice, above all by that air of old web of before of the explosion of the digital bubble .

That’s pretty slick, if you ask me.

Ok this is boring and real, but we really do have a job opening, click here!