LogicMaze Owner Buys Orville Redenbacher Popcorn
It was only a matter of time, according to employees at Hutchinson Kansas web design company: LogicMaze.
“Her interest in popcorn just kept growing and growing,” stated an annonymous LogicMaze employee, who’s married to Tamara. “At first, she would just eat it at lunch time. Before long, she was making popcorn pancakes for breakfast and popcorn casserole for dinner.”
He then paused for a moment to sob.
“She tried to make beer out of popcorn,” he continued. “Beer.“
It was this overwhelming fixation eventually became all encompassing. Colleagues began to notice little things like a picture of Orville Redenbacher as her Windows desktop background and the necklace that she had made by stringing popcorn kernels together with fishing line. Occasionally, things would slip into the crazy when she would wear an empty popcorn bag on her head.
Then it happened, Tamara wasn’t seen around LogicMaze for a solid week. Nobody knew where she was. The halls of the office were a whirlwind of speculation. Each had their own idea, but there was one common factor in all of their hypothesis: it had something to do with popcorn.
The following Friday, almost a week and a half after she disappeared, Tamara Heitschmidt returned. She had some big news for everybody at the office: she had bought the company Orville Redenbacher. Everyone at work was baffled by this sudden decision. To a firestorm of questions, she responded simply by telling them that Orville Redenbacher popcorn “pops up lighter and fluffier than ordinary popping corn.” She then finished with “Eats better too.” before she went to her office and shut the door.
Nobody knows for sure the fate of companies LogicMaze and Orville Redenbacher. Friends and family are currently attempting to talk Heitschmidt out of changing the name of the popcorn company to LogicBacher.
Boliver ShagNasty said,
February 11, 2007 at 1:02 am
The Orville Redenbacher name is very well established changing it will cause a a very large drop in sales. If the name is to be changed it should be done slowly.
One way is to start a parallel line of popcorn with both old and new names, advertise it as the same product and sell it at a lower price until it becomes just as popular as Orville Redenbacher.
Of course if this a spoof just forget about it.
mhargrave said,
February 13, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Thank you, kindly for your business tip. We’ll be sure to keep that in mind for our next coporate takeov-eh-merger.